Panhandler's Guide to Riches From Rags
Begging For Dollars
In these uncertain times, downsizing, companies closing down and mass layoffs are on the horizon for thousands. Our governments don't seem to care so perhaps a tax free income appeals to you. Perhaps you don't have a choice. If you have to resort to begging for money on the street to pay the mortgage, I feel for you. I have luckily never been there myself, but I do live in the downtown of a fairly large city and as a curiosity, I have observed the panhandlers and buskers. The ones that do well have some things in common. So I thought I would share them with you here. The thought here is this. Why wait until you're homeless to beg for income?
The Three D's
If you really want to make the big bucks as a beggar you've got to look and act the part. If you don't, people will notice and you don't want to waste valuable time doing nothing without being paid for it! It's like a government job! If you're asking for handouts remember the three D's:
Derelict
Dejected
Disheveled
Before you go out panhandling ask yourself the following:
Do I look like a derelict? Do I feel dejected as if society has no place for me? Is my appearance sloppy, my clothing old worn and torn? In other words do I look disheveled enough that people will take pity on me to the tune of a handful of spare change?
First Impressions
First impressions are very important. Wear Ratty clothing, the more holes in it the better. People won't give money to someone who is wearing better shoes than they are. You're going to want to bathe but it's a good idea to wear clothing that you may have worn the day before or slept in the night before. Don't iron your clothing either, that's a dead giveaway. Irons need electricity and if you want to appear homeless it makes sense that even if you own an iron, you don't have a place to plug it in! You also want to avoid mouthwash for two reasons. First, the perception is that if you can afford mouthwash you can afford a sandwich. Second, people might think you're drinking mouthwash to get a buzz and people are less likely to give you money if they think you just want to get drunk
The Skinny
If you're overweight, don't be a panhandler. People will have a hard time believing you're hungry. Go on welfare or join Amway or something like that if you're overweight. I am not making fun of overweight people here. I am just pointing out that people won't give you money unless they think you need it for food. It's ironic because it's a fact that thin people are considered more attractive. Attractive people find work easier. So in reality it's the overweight people that really need help. Unfortunately if society doesn't like the look of you, you're screwed! Busking might be a better way to go for the overweight individual. More on this later.
Ask Nicely
How you ask for money is very important. Avoid calling people "buddy" or "big guy" or "Sir" or "Ma'am". Stick with something simple like "could you spare a few dollars for a bite to eat". It's always good to be somewhere where there are lots of people so you aren't putting any one person on the spot, unless it's a guy who is walking with a woman. If it's a new relationship he might toss you some coins to appear generous because he thinks she'll be impressed. Just ask those annoying people who sell roses in bars! They play upon this scenario with ruthless efficiency! Don't get mad when people turn you down or ignore you, concentrate on the next person. You're going to be rejected 96.5% of the time, so don't let that get to you, it's a business like anything else.
Busking
If you have a problem with begging, busking might be a good alternative. If you sing or play a musical instrument, juggle etc, you can do this on the street to earn money. Some places prohibit this so check the laws in your area. Some cities actually require you to get a permit or a license of some sort to engage in busking. If you are good at your particular skill people will be impressed and will be less likely to care how you look. You can wear better clothes than a panhandler as well. A street performer is a few rungs up the ladder from a common beggar as well, so you can take a little more pride in what you are doing. However if you are rail thin and have the ability to look like you're near death for lack of food, you can't really beat begging.
Role Model
There's an older native north american gentleman on the corner most days. He's about a block from my apartment. He has about three teeth and he doesn't even have anything for people to put money in. He just sits on the pavement with his arms extended, hands cupped and his head down. His long hair hanging down obscuring his face. I don't think I've ever actually seen his eyes. Perhaps this is part of his business model. Maybe he appears less threatening because he never makes eye contact? Anyhow he wears the same torn jeans and the same blue fleece hoodie every day. I have never heard him speak.
I bet you he does quite well.
In these uncertain times, downsizing, companies closing down and mass layoffs are on the horizon for thousands. Our governments don't seem to care so perhaps a tax free income appeals to you. Perhaps you don't have a choice. If you have to resort to begging for money on the street to pay the mortgage, I feel for you. I have luckily never been there myself, but I do live in the downtown of a fairly large city and as a curiosity, I have observed the panhandlers and buskers. The ones that do well have some things in common. So I thought I would share them with you here. The thought here is this. Why wait until you're homeless to beg for income?
The Three D's
If you really want to make the big bucks as a beggar you've got to look and act the part. If you don't, people will notice and you don't want to waste valuable time doing nothing without being paid for it! It's like a government job! If you're asking for handouts remember the three D's:
Derelict
Dejected
Disheveled
Before you go out panhandling ask yourself the following:
Do I look like a derelict? Do I feel dejected as if society has no place for me? Is my appearance sloppy, my clothing old worn and torn? In other words do I look disheveled enough that people will take pity on me to the tune of a handful of spare change?
First Impressions
First impressions are very important. Wear Ratty clothing, the more holes in it the better. People won't give money to someone who is wearing better shoes than they are. You're going to want to bathe but it's a good idea to wear clothing that you may have worn the day before or slept in the night before. Don't iron your clothing either, that's a dead giveaway. Irons need electricity and if you want to appear homeless it makes sense that even if you own an iron, you don't have a place to plug it in! You also want to avoid mouthwash for two reasons. First, the perception is that if you can afford mouthwash you can afford a sandwich. Second, people might think you're drinking mouthwash to get a buzz and people are less likely to give you money if they think you just want to get drunk
The Skinny
If you're overweight, don't be a panhandler. People will have a hard time believing you're hungry. Go on welfare or join Amway or something like that if you're overweight. I am not making fun of overweight people here. I am just pointing out that people won't give you money unless they think you need it for food. It's ironic because it's a fact that thin people are considered more attractive. Attractive people find work easier. So in reality it's the overweight people that really need help. Unfortunately if society doesn't like the look of you, you're screwed! Busking might be a better way to go for the overweight individual. More on this later.
Ask Nicely
How you ask for money is very important. Avoid calling people "buddy" or "big guy" or "Sir" or "Ma'am". Stick with something simple like "could you spare a few dollars for a bite to eat". It's always good to be somewhere where there are lots of people so you aren't putting any one person on the spot, unless it's a guy who is walking with a woman. If it's a new relationship he might toss you some coins to appear generous because he thinks she'll be impressed. Just ask those annoying people who sell roses in bars! They play upon this scenario with ruthless efficiency! Don't get mad when people turn you down or ignore you, concentrate on the next person. You're going to be rejected 96.5% of the time, so don't let that get to you, it's a business like anything else.
Busking
If you have a problem with begging, busking might be a good alternative. If you sing or play a musical instrument, juggle etc, you can do this on the street to earn money. Some places prohibit this so check the laws in your area. Some cities actually require you to get a permit or a license of some sort to engage in busking. If you are good at your particular skill people will be impressed and will be less likely to care how you look. You can wear better clothes than a panhandler as well. A street performer is a few rungs up the ladder from a common beggar as well, so you can take a little more pride in what you are doing. However if you are rail thin and have the ability to look like you're near death for lack of food, you can't really beat begging.
Role Model
There's an older native north american gentleman on the corner most days. He's about a block from my apartment. He has about three teeth and he doesn't even have anything for people to put money in. He just sits on the pavement with his arms extended, hands cupped and his head down. His long hair hanging down obscuring his face. I don't think I've ever actually seen his eyes. Perhaps this is part of his business model. Maybe he appears less threatening because he never makes eye contact? Anyhow he wears the same torn jeans and the same blue fleece hoodie every day. I have never heard him speak.
I bet you he does quite well.
Comments
Post a Comment